Dear Dad

Revised version of "My Tarnished Heart"

Dear Dad,

Missing you here.
How’s the weather?
Did you find Grandpa when he came?
I think of that night so often.
I want to know what you were thinking
Letting that drunk bastard drive.
What were you thinking in those last minutes,
Seconds, milliseconds of your life?
Did you laugh? Did you know?
…Did it hurt?
Its been twelve years now almost.
I don’t want the day to come
When you’ve been gone from my life
For longer than you were in it.
How do I explain to people
That even though the hurt is gone
It never is?
How do I keep a smile on my face
When I walk down the aisle on my wedding day
With my mom on my arm and not you?
You’ve missed a lot but if you came back
I’m sure it could be the same, or almost the same.
You’ve never been replaced, you’ve never been forgotten.
But I sure miss you a hell of a lot.
I sending this up to you on a wing and a prayer…
(Literally-I’m tying this letter to my pet bird’s leg)
Hope it makes it.
I wish I could hear you laugh again.
I won’t say goodbye, because I’ve already done that,
A few thousand times.
So…
I love you.